I didn’t go home for thanksgiving

This year I decided to not go home for thanksgiving. I had the option to take off work or to work. I wanted to stay here. I didn’t want to go home. I have the opportunity to be useful and make money at work. We are short staffed this week because of the holiday and it’s not “fun” but it’s my job.
I actually have a job which is something incredibly awesome to be thankful for. I do have a family which I am thankful for. I also live 2 hours away and have a choice.
My family is upset but won’t say it. They moved it to Saturday but I am still not going. Then they said they are going to come see me Sunday.
Instead of dysfunctional family that I end up feeling worse about myself when I see them then if I don’t I went to my friend/coworkers house. I got to eat and have wonderful company. I enjoyed myself. I really really did.
I feel guilty for not going home but I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in like a week. I’ve been stressed out and upset but today got me to a place where I smiled and laughed and felt whole. I got through a whole thanksgiving without wanting to kill myself or cut or do anything that would harm me or others AND with no medication. Which is so freaking awesome I can’t even explain how awesome that is!!
Maybe it’s okay. Maybe I’m okay.

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